


A Warm December With You

by Thatmalu



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anal Sex, Come as Lube, Eddie Kaspbrak Deserves Better, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fine I'll Fix It Myself, First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It, Gay Disaster Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I Want That Twink Obliterated, Idiots in Love, Injured Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentioned Losers Club (IT), Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Rough Sex, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, Spinal Injury, Stanley Uris Lives, i tried to be soft but, so now there's porn sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatmalu/pseuds/Thatmalu
Summary: “Aw, Eds,” Richie pouted, the corner of his lip twisting as he suppressed a teasing grin. “How can you say no to adorable, perfectly innocent red balloons?”“You’re sick,” Eddie huffed, crossing his arms across his sore chest as Richie placed the giant “Eddie-bear” teddy bear on one of the guest chairs.****************************************A one shot fix-it where Eddie survived, but getting stabbed through the spine by a giant spider isn't something he managed very well.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 159





	A Warm December With You

**Author's Note:**

> Soft boys? Rough boys? Middle-aged pining idiots in love? Yes, yes, and yes.
> 
> I finally finished this wonderful happy fix-it (to cut down on the list of WIP's I still have) that gives Eddie the ending he deserves, even after being fucked up by an alien demon. I tried. That being said, I hope you enjoy <3
> 
> Please thank the wonderful Gwen (@gwenjamin3000 on ig, @caliceal on tumblr) for allowing me to use her wheelchair inspo for this fic, and also for being an absolutely talented and amazing artist with the cutest Reddie content in existence.
> 
> Fic title is from Winter by Joshua Radin.

If anyone else in the world had walked into his hospital room right now, Eddie would have thrown his vital signs monitor at their head. Or at least he would have attempted to, considering he could not lift his arms higher up than his shoulders right now. They still would’ve gotten the hint if he threw the monitor roughly on the ground and smashed it to bits. But it wasn’t just anyone that walked into his room with a giant stuffed teddy bear and red balloons. It was Richie fucking Tozier. So Eddie only pretended to want to throw something at his head, on principle.

“No!” he shouted, pointed his index finger at the door. “Get those fucking things out of my room!”

“Aw, Eds,” Richie pouted, the corner of his lip twisting as he suppressed a teasing grin. “How can you say no to adorable, perfectly innocent red balloons?”

“You’re sick,” Eddie huffed, crossing his arms across his sore chest as Richie placed the giant “Eddie-bear” teddy bear on one of the guest chairs. “This is a really sick joke, Richie. You might as well have shown up in clown makeup and a circus suit.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Richie sat in the closest chair to Eddie’s bed, kicking his shoes off and getting comfortable. Eddie already knew how this was going to go, sitting back in his bed and trying to accept it. He couldn’t help but ask, though.

“Why are you here, Richie?” he asked quietly, trying to keep his eyes on Seinfeld playing on the TV on the opposing wall and not Richie’s freshly shaven cheek bones. “I told you not to come.”

“If you didn’t want me to come, you wouldn’t have told me you were here.”

Silence. Eddie did not have a retort for that, because it was partially true. Truthfully, if he could have Richie present in every moment of his life, he would. Countless moments had gone by in these last few months that Eddie could not have gone through without Richie’s support, even when Richie did not realize it. A huge bubble was ready to burst through Eddie’s chest, wanting to explain to Richie how important he really was through all of this. But despite the events that had transpired six months ago in the sewers of Derry, Maine, Eddie was still a coward.

The chair squeaked across the linoleum floor as Richie scooted it forward, his eyes moving up and down Eddie’s body. “Who was the jackass driving? Should we sue?”

Eddie said nothing still, pursing his lips and feeling his skin crawl uncomfortably. He could physically feel the realization hit Richie beside him.

“Eds, c’mon man…”

“What was I supposed to do?” Eddie finally snapped at him.

“Take a fucking cab, man!” Richie exclaimed. “You’re not well enough to be driving yet! You could’ve fucking died, Eds!”

“I didn’t,” Eddie spat, but felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment, knowing Richie was right.

“It doesn’t matter,” Richie said, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you tried to drive… You can barely even fucking walk – ”

“And you know what? I might actually be able to live with that. I can even live with not being able to run anymore when I’ve been doing it every day since college. But driving is my life, Richie. It wasn’t just a job for me. You know, statistically speaking, I should be terrified to drive, but I’m not. Being behind the wheel of a car was one of the few places I felt comfortable.”

He could feel Richie’s eyes boring into him while he stared ahead, the air heavy with tension between them. Finally, Richie spoke quietly.

“You could’ve killed someone else, Eddie. Did you even think about that? Even if you don’t care about some stranger on the street, or your own damn life, maybe you could at least think about the people that care about you. Because I almost watched you die once. I had to carry you out of that goddamn sewer not knowing whether or not you’d still be breathing when we reached the surface. I would really fucking appreciate it if you kept that into consideration.”

Not able to bear looking Richie in the eyes, Eddie continued to stare at the TV that he couldn’t really see. Because Richie was right; it was an embarrassingly stupid and selfish thing to do, getting behind the wheel of his car with his basically useless legs out of sheer stubbornness, all to risk going to the grocery store uptown. Now all of his injuries were exacerbated and it would probably take long for his body to adjust with his physical therapy. Pains he had been getting used to have now elevated to the point where he couldn’t sleep again. Eddie should have considered himself lucky that he didn’t completely paralyze his legs. Thinking about it now made him itch for more painkillers, and he pressed the call button for a nurse, still not able to look at Richie directly.

“You sending security up to kick me out?”

“I just need the nurse,” Eddie mumbled.

The young lady that had been helping Eddie since this morning came in, a bright smile on her face and bounce in her step.

“How are you feeling Mr. Kaspbrak?”

“Not too good, actually,” Eddie said apologetically. “I don’t remember how long it’s been since my last dose, but the pain is really killing me right now.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, checking a white board with Eddie’s stats. “I think it’s been enough time. Hopefully this’ll fix you up, ok?”

“Excuse me, miss?” Richie suddenly asked from beside Eddie. “Is it policy to give heavy medication to a drug addict?”

Eddie’s head snapped in Richie’s direction so quickly it audibly cracked. “Richie, what the  _ fuck _ ?”

The nurse paused, looking deeply uncomfortable, her eyes darting between the two of them. “I’m – I’m sorry?”

“Well, he just kicked a bad benzo habit,” Richie shrugged, ignoring Eddie’s raging glare. “I don’t think adding him to the current opioid crisis would be in anyone’s best interest.”

“Who are you?” the nurse asked curtly.

“He’s nobody,” Eddie muttered. “Just forget it. I’m fine.”

She shuffled awkwardly, as if debating whether or not to abide by Eddie’s original request for medication, before deciding otherwise, giving Richie a suspicious look as she left. Eddie felt his heart beating hard in his chest, hot with anger and a bit of shame.

“Richie, what is  _ wrong _ with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” Richie laughed incredulously. “What’s wrong with  _ me _ ? Dude, I spent fucking weeks - no,  _ months _ \- taking care of you and helping you deal with your wife, your  _ accident _ , your job, all your fucking pills, and fucking  _ everything _ just for you to get up in the middle of the night with no word and leave. And to top it off, you don’t give a shit about how it would make me or anyone feel just to throw all of that away. You go back to Myra and get behind the wheel of a car and risk your fucking life just to – what? For what, Eds? And even after I – after  _ what I told you _ ? After I fucking poured my heart out to you about how I felt? You say fucking nothing and leave without a word.”

“You haven’t seemed too bothered,” Eddie muttered sheepishly.

“Because I love you, you fucking idiot!” Richie snapped in a harsh whisper. “If being with Myra made you happy – fine. I can accept that. I swallowed my shame and tucked my tail between my legs. I can get not wanting to stay with me after I told you how I felt, if it made you that uncomfortable. But after everything you told me about her while you stayed with me I have to wonder if you just get off on making people take care of you and sucking them dry.”

“Shut he fuck up, man,” Eddie whispered, shaking his head slowly. “I didn’t – it’s not as easy as that. That’s not – ”

“Why did you even tell me you were here?” Richie bit, despite kicking his feet up on Eddie’s bed; determined to stay. “Would you prefer it be your wife?”

“Not my wife anymore.”

“W-what?” Richie stammered, sounding genuinely surprised.

“I’ve been trying to settle a divorce with her since we left Maine. She wouldn’t have it. I couldn’t seem to figure out a way to get a clean break. After what you told me - about how you felt - I went back to the house to try talking to her in person, but nothing seemed to get through to her. So… I told her I changed my mind about the divorce. I told her I loved her and I was lucky to have a wife that would take care of her paraplegic husband as he loses his business and everything he’s ever worked for. I went on about how we didn’t need money or material things as long as we had each other and I’d be just as happy in poverty as long as I was with her.” He turned to look at Richie once he realized he was going to start crying. “She called the lawyer and signed the papers within an hour. I suppose even taking care of me like she always wanted had its limits. She never quite had my mom’s stamina for smothering.”

Richie blinked. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

There was a moment of silence between them, which was always weird with Richie, who usually wished to fill every heavy quiet second with chatter. Ever since they left Derry, after that initial relief of destroying Pennywise, things had been awkward and tense.

When Eddie half-consciously heard Richie crying and telling Eddie that he loved him as he lay limp in Richie’s arms after being dragged down to the quarry, Eddie brushed it off as some sort of near-death hysterical breakdown. When Beverly and Ben started (inappropriately, in Eddie’s opinion) making out right after Eddie woke, Richie had given him a longing, earnest look that Eddie could recall seeing from him in their teens. Then when Eddie explained to Richie his situation at home, while they drove back to New York in Richie’s rental after finding out they lived not a twenty minute subway ride away from each other, Richie offered for Eddie to stay in his guest room while Eddie figured things out. 

Not being able to take it anymore, on a night they had been indulging in too much booze, Richie confessed that all the things he had said to Eddie back in Derry were true. So Eddie thought, in an act he felt reflected bravery, that he would go back to Myra and uproot his life to be with Richie. It was supposed to be a swift and gallant move that ended up taking too much time and all of Eddie’s energy. He was just trying to do the right thing and finalize his divorce and start a new life with Richie with a clean slate. Instead, it dragged on for weeks and Eddie exhausted himself so much, causing him to overthink everything he was doing. All he could think about then was trying to be out, living as a gay man in his 40s and he couldn’t muster telling even Richie the truth, completely frozen in his fear.

“Do you need a place to stay?” Richie’s voice was soft, trying to find a balance to still sound caring in his anger. “You can, you know… come back. It'll be nice having someone home for Christmas while my parents are sun-tanning in Cancun.”

“Guest room is still open?” Eddie asked cautiously.

Richie gave him a sad smile in return. “Of course, Eds.”

Coward.

*

“That’s the stupidest shit you’ve ever said to me, Richie.”

“Why? What’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big – what makes you think I would want to kiss you?”

Richie threw his head back, blowing smoke up into the air as he flicked the ashes off the tip of his cigarette. He was leaning lazily against the bottom post of the stairs leading up to the porch in front of his house, looking maddeningly stupid and adorable while wearing a black metal band t-shirt under a pink flamingo button-up. He was a walking contradiction. One would think he’d just pick a single fashion style to follow, but his closet was a thrift shop collection of punk, hippie, and a retired dentist ready to move to Florida.

“Listen Eds, if you want to impress a girl like Daphne Dillinger enough for a second date, you’re gonna need to practice. I know for a  _ fact _ the only time you’ve practiced tongue twister was with your fist and it’s pretty hard to get feedback that way.”

“I don’t practice kissing on my hand!” Eddie retorted, sounding a bit shrill. Richie just smirked at him.

“We don’t have any girl friends around to help ya out. That leaves just me and Mikey, Eduardo. Just sayin’, I’m offering. Sara always said I was an excellent kisser.”

Feeling his face going scarlet, Eddie shuffled one of his sneakers into the dirt. Nothing would have made him happier than to kiss Richie – but only if it had meant something. In a weird way, maybe it still would. After all, neither Eddie nor Daphne was going out together because either of them wanted to. It was an arrangement by their parents after the end-of-summer parent-teacher conference, and Mrs. Dillinger wanted Daphne to date a nice, studious boy during their senior year so she could focus on her school  _ and _ have the social life she wanted. Sonia had been there to offer up her wonderful Eddie-bear. And Richie knew this was the case. There’s no way he was expecting Eddie to keep dating a popular girl like Daphne, not this close to  _ prom _ , which she would want to go to with someone she really liked. This had to mean more than just practice, right? Unless it was a joke?

There was only one way to find out.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Eddie mumbled.

“I would never, Eds,” he heard Richie say, sounding quite sincere.

Cigarette ashes flicked in Eddie’s peripherals, and he looked up to see Richie grinding it down onto the wood of the stair rail behind him. He was still casually leaning back against it, his body scooted down into an almost half-sit lean, which was just enough for Eddie to reach his face without needing to stand on his tiptoes. Because of course Richie had to keep getting growth spurts and become Andre the fucking giant (if Andre was as thin as a rail). 

Sucking in all of the courage he could muster, Eddie quickly took a step, leaning his face forward and quickly planting a kiss on Richie’s bottom lip, so fast that he could barely taste Richie’s cigarette. Simple. Sweet.

Stupid.

“Wow, baby. That got me all hot and bothered for more.”

“Shut up.”

“Eds, kissing is not a race. Try that again.”

“Uncross your arms.”

Richie rolled his eyes but did as he was told. It didn’t seem so scary now that he had done it once before, even just a tiny bit. This time, when Eddie leaned forward, all he felt was butterflies.

At first, he just kind of stood there, not really sure what to do, just firmly pressing his mouth into Richie’s. He felt Richie’s lips curl ever so slightly at the edges and it made him want to be angry at him for probably thinking this was funny. But then, Eddie felt Richie’s larger hands on the sides of his face, Richie’s bottom lip moving around his own. Richie’s thumbs pressed gently into Eddie’s jaw, tracing down to his chin and tugging ever so lightly to pry Eddie’s mouth open enough for Richie to suck his bottom lip. Eddie moaned softly.

Shit.

He  _ moaned _ .

It could have been one of the worst moments of his life had Richie not brought one of his hands down around Eddie’s waist and pulled him against him firmly. Eddie felt his head naturally tilt as he allowed himself to sink further down, letting Richie hold on to him like this, tasting the smoky tobacco and orange juice traces on Richie’s tongue that grazed between his lips. Hesitating at first, Eddie allowed his tongue to finally move out, hoping that Richie wouldn’t make fun of how clumsy it was, poking around and bumping into his teeth -

“Boys?”

A second later and Eddie’s ass was on the ground, having just shoved himself off of Richie with enough force to surely bruise his backside. Maggie and Went were just in the doorway up on the porch, Maggie keeping the door open for Went to make his way out to his car for work. A strong, visceral embarrassment worked its way through him so quickly, Eddie thought he was going to vomit. His eyes started to sting and he looked down between his legs on the ground, refusing to look up at Richie’s parents.

“What’s up?” Richie said.

“You better get Eddie home quick, honey,” Maggie was saying. “Sonia might wake up early and realize he’s gone.”

“Eds, you need a ride?” Wentworth asked.

Eddie shook his head, not wanting to look up at them still.  _ Don’t vomit. Don’t vomit. Don’t vomit. _

“I can walk him home,” said Richie, his voice so startlingly close, Eddie couldn’t help but jerk his head up to see Richie was leaning down and holding his hand out to help Eddie up. “She always sleeps in on Sundays.”

“Ok, well have a good day, Eddie.”

Eddie forced himself up, ignoring Richie’s outstretched hand and pushing up from the ground. He felt Wentworth give him a small squeeze on his shoulder walking to his car, making Eddie jump. Why weren’t either of them saying anything about what just happened? Eddie’s legs shook as he stood and it took a great deal of strength to start moving, following Richie down the sidewalk.

Silence was an incredible anomaly when one was friends with someone like Richie Tozier. Having only the sounds of their feet shuffling, Eddie’s jacket crinkling, and the light breeze really put Eddie on edge. They were approaching the corner to where Eddie’s house was when Richie finally reached his hand over to stop Eddie.

“What?” Eddie asked sharply.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad, Richie?”

“For tricking you into kissing me.”

Eddie felt his face scowl up at him. “What do you mean  _ tricking _ me?”

A joke. That’s what it all was. That’s all it ever was with Richie.

Except usually when Richie was joking, he never looked this sheepish and sick. He lifted his arm to awkwardly rub the back of his neck.

“I’ve just - I’ve been wanting to do that for a really long time.”

“That’s not fucking funny, Richie.”

“No, it’s not funny. Its fucking sucked, Eds.” Richie exhaled sharply through his nostrils, looking like he couldn’t even look at Eddie right now. 

“What are you talking about Richie?”

“I’m not - I’m not sick, Eddie,” Richie stammered, and Eddie couldn’t understand why he was saying that until he continued. “There isn’t anything wrong with me or you - not that I think you’re - I’m just - your mom is wrong,” he said firmly, finally looking up at Eddie with earnest. “This whole town is fucking wrong. We shouldn’t have to hide how we feel. It’s bullshit. My parents don’t even care! Shit, maybe if I knew that, I would’ve said something a long time ago,” he added ruefully.

“What are you talking about Richie?” Eddie repeated, because he thought he needed Richie to  _ say it _ for Eddie to really accept it. The implications weren’t enough. 

“Fuck it,” Richie huffed, leaning down and grabbing Eddie’s arms firmly to face him fully.

Words wouldn’t have been able to match the fire behind Richie’s kiss. It was the kind of thing Eddie saw actors portray in movies and never really imagined one could  _ feel _ in real life, when all he could normally think about was spit and teeth. The relief that swept through Eddie just through the touch of their lips sent his heart  _ soaring _ , reaching his fists up to pull Richie more firmly into him. He could’ve sworn he felt the corners of Richie’s lips tug up again in a smile, and Eddie almost had mind to throw him off, feeling that sinking fear that somehow this was still all a joke -

Something had yanked Eddie back sharply by the back of his collar, a small yelp escaping from his lips as Richie was pulled away from him. He opened his eyes just as his mother firmly pushed him behind her, jabbing her finger in Richie’s direction.

“What the  _ hell _ do you think you’re doing with my son?!” Sonia screached, forcing Richie to cower at the sight of her, even though he easily had at least a head of height over her.

“Mrs. K, I wasn’t - I just - ”

“I will not have some disgusting faggot corrupting my son! You stay the  _ hell _ away from him!”

The look on Richie’s face when he locked eyes with Eddie should’ve been enough to break him, but all it did was send tears streaming down his cheeks as he silently cowered behind his mother. Somehow, Eddie mustered some small amount of strength to mouth  _ Go! _ and hope to god Richie would listen.

“I’m sorry,” Richie croaked, backing up with his hands up in surrender, eyes darting to Eddie and silently pleading for help that wouldn’t come. “I won’t - I won’t come by again, Mrs. Kaspbrak, I promise.”

“The hell you will,” she spat at him. “Get out of here before I call the cops!”

Eddie was pulled the rest of the way home with his mother's vice grip on the back of his neck. He was positive he was going to have bruises from her fingernails by the end of the day. She dragged him into the house and roughly threw his small body on the couch. Eighteen years old, and she still made him feel like a child. 

“This is the last straw. We are not waiting for July anymore. I’m calling your aunt and letting her know that we will be down in a week. We’ll use your spring break time to pack and drive down to New York. Do I make myself clear?”

Dozens of thoughts went through Eddie’s head.

_ I won’t change in New York. _

_ The school year is almost over. _

_ It won’t change anything. _

_ There’s more people in New York. _

_ There’s more germs. _

_ I won’t have any friends. _

_ I’m going to be miserable. _

_ I can’t leave Richie. _

_ This isn’t going to help. _

_ I’m about to graduate. It’s not fair. _

_ It’s not fair. _

_ It’s not fair. _

_ It’s not fucking fair. _

None of them moved from his thoughts and past his lips. Instead, being the coward he was, he sniffled once and simply responded quietly.

“Ok.”

*

Eddie thought about that day constantly since returning to Derry. When Richie confessed his feelings for him, he told Eddie that he was planning on driving his cheap car to New York and getting a place so Eddie could live with him, move out of his mother’s. Hell, he _still_ went to New York in the hopes of finding Eddie, only to forget about everything almost immediately, just like the rest of them. Hatred boiled Eddie’s blood thinking about the happy life his mother had taken away from him, the life he wouldn’t allow himself to have, the life he was _still_ so terrified to accept.

Even more terrifying still was how much of himself Richie was willing to give or give up for Eddie, all the feelings they had for each other spiraling back out like a vinyl record that had just skipped over to the chorus of their love song. The demon shapeshifting clown seemed almost simple compared to how strong their feelings for each other had returned, sudden and intruding.

The usual Manhattan traffic was welcoming as Eddie spent the entire ride mustering up all the courage that he possibly could, thinking of all the moments he shared with Richie, all the moments of his adult life he spent confused and lonely despite constantly having people around him. As Richie ran over to grab Eddie’s walker and help him out of the car, Eddie took a deep breath as he sprung the car door open. This was going to be it. No more hiding.

The apartment was the same as it had been when Eddie left just over a month ago. This came as a surprise, as the place had been (in Eddie’s opinion) unreasonably messy and disastrous. After Eddie spent time utilizing his physical therapy to help Richie organize and straighten up his place, it seemed that Richie had no issues keeping up with it to Eddie’s standards. The only difference was that a wheelchair stood next to the couch, brand new and decorated, very much unlike the one Eddie had left at Myra’s.

“What is that?” Eddie asked, his legs unsteady as he stood, balancing himself on Richie’s shoulder and his walking cane.

“It’s, uh - it was supposed to be a gift for your birthday,” Richie mumbled as he helped Eddie over to the couch. “The rest of the Loser’s and I chipped in so you wouldn’t have to rely on that old, ratty hospital chair anymore.”

Eddie’s eyes skimmed over the chair after Richie helped him settle down, putting the stupid giant Teddy bear next to te wheelchair. The rest of his friends had written all over it, signing little notes of encouragement. From where he sat he could see the wonky writing that he realized was Stan’s, his handwriting and nerves having suffered since his wrist-slitting attempt back in June. Eddie felt his heart swell with affection for these six people that were mere strangers just months ago that now meant so much to him and thought about how crushed and broken he would be had Stanley not made a last second decision to call his wife for help and save himself. How selfish had Eddie been to not take them into more delicate consideration these last few months?

Fuck it. Now was the time.

“Listen,” Eddie said slowly, licking his lips pointlessly, as his mouth seemed to dry up like sand. “I just want to go over a few... rules and guidelines if we’re going to be… doing this.”

By ‘doing this’, Richie probably assumed Eddie was talking about being roommates, or maybe helping him out around the house for a bit, possibly even getting back into a routine of friendship. But for once in his life, Eddie was talking about something else entirely. It was clear that Richie didn’t understand quite yet when he simply sat across from Eddie on the coffee table, shrugged and said, “Lay it on me.”

Eddie took a deep, shaky breath, looking Richie earnestly in the eyes. “Under no circumstances - whether you are joking or not - will you call me ‘babe’ or ‘bae’ in public.”

Richie blinked. “What?”

“I also claim the left side of the bed,” Eddie said firmly. “I’m sorry, but that’s non-negotiable.”

Richie’s jaw slowly slackened, his mouth slightly agape as he continued to stare at Eddie incredulously. “Are you - what - ?”

“Also,” Eddie continued, making sure he did not lose traction while he was able to still form coherent sentences while his brain turned to mush. “I know this one is really selfish and unfair given what I’ve been like with you... but when I tell you I love you, you have to say it back. Even if you’re angry at me. I need... I need you to reassure me that, ok?”

He couldn’t help the way his voice broke towards the end, watching realization spread over Richie’s face, feeling his own emotions stirring restlessly within him. Just a beat passed before Richie leaned forward towards the couch where Eddie sat, reaching a hand up to gently graze Eddie’s scarred cheek. “Eds...”

“And don’t call me E - “

Just like that - like stupid teenagers on their parents porches - their lips locked at last once again. Immediately, Eddie’s hands went up to pull Richie down more firmly by his collar, feeling stupid and giddy. If it hadn’t been for their facial hair, it would’ve mirrored exactly how it felt 22 years ago; Richie’s large hands on Eddies face, Eddie fisting Richie’s shirt, so stupid in love and lust that they couldn’t even kiss with grace, tongues dancing together clumsily. Although, Eddie had to admit, their tongues had more practice and familiarity this time. And when he felt the corners of Richie’s mouth curl up, he understood this time it wasn’t in mocking or jest, but just sheer delight that this was happening.

“C’mere,” Eddie growled, pulling Richie on top of him to allow his giant frame to straddle him on the couch. It was impossible to get close enough to him, he wanted to  _ consume _ every bit of Richie he could. He had filled out so much, and Eddie couldn’t possibly understand how there was so much of him. Eddie allowed himself to glide his hands up Richie’s thighs until one of his palms caught the bulge there, forcing him to reel back.

“Sorry,” Richie said, although Eddie wasn’t sure why he was apologizing. “What’s wrong?”

_ All the dick jokes were true. What the fuck _ .

“Someone that tells as many dick jokes as you shouldn’t be allowed to  _ actually _ have a big dick,” Eddie blurted out.

Richie guffawed before trying to quiet himself down and Eddie couldn’t help but grin stupidly back at him.

“Are you disappointed or just surprised?”

“A little bit of both. I don’t know if I can call you out in public anymore. It takes all the magic out of it.”

“I am one hundred percent ok with you doing that still if you want to keep it our little secret.”

Eddie gulped, allowing his eyes to look down at where his hand was still resting. “Can I - can I suck you off?” 

He looked up again through his lashes to see Richie’s eyes had gone wide behind his glasses.

“ _ Can  _ you?  _ Can  _ you? Like - like a treat? Like you’d  _ like  _ to do that?”

“I’ve never done it before,” Eddie whispered nervously. “I really want to try.” The thought of doing it was sending tingles through his skin and he could feel his own erection straining in his pants.  _ And you wondered why you couldn’t get it up for your wife, you fucking idiot. _

Fumbling with Richie’s jeans was very reminiscent of the first time he tried to take a woman’s bra off in college, all clumsy and sweaty palms. He knew nerves would get the best of him if he thought about it too long, and really he had no fucking idea what he was doing, so the second he pulled Richie’s ( _ big?! _ ) dick out, he dived forward and sucked as much in as he thought was appropriate.

“Jesus,” Richie gasped above him, gripping Eddie’s hair tightly on the back of his head, which somehow turned Eddie on even more. “Fuck, Eds, that’s - ok - fuck. That feels amazing, but - shit - you can slow down, take it easy.”

The noises he was making made Eddie absolutely not want to slow down, and it wasn’t as bad as he imagined it was, tasting of salt and sweat, but really not being bad. His body wanted to gag slightly every time the tip hit the back of his throat, but it did nothing but encourage Eddie to hollow his cheeks and suck in harder, letting his tongue flick around the head and play with the foreskin, loving the way Richie’s breath hitched when he did so. Whatever was supposed to be gross about this was actually exciting, letting his mouth slobber a little bit, and when he looked up at Richie to see the look on his face - jesus, that was something. 

“Fuck, I can’t believe I’m seeing this right now,” Richie panted as he looked down at Eddie moving up and down his dick, his grip in Eddie’s hair still tight. “Wait, shit, Eddie hold up - ”

Eddie pulled off with an audible  _ pop _ , his own drool sputtering down his chin. “What’s wrong?”

“I just, I’m sorry, I just want to savor all of this. Can we - are you able to lay down?”

Eddie nodded and allowed Richie to take his shirt off before helping ease him down along the couch, pulling his jeans off and throwing them down on the floor, leaving Eddie almost entirely exposed now with his erection only now hidden by the thin fabric of his boxer briefs.

Nothing could have prepared Eddie for the way Richie was looking down at him right now. He had just been getting used to the adoration, the way Richie looked at him like he was the source of all good and light and reason for Richie to breathe. But this look, the hunger behind his eyes, now dark and intense, the slight flush in his cheeks, was complete desire and  _ need. _ Eddie doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at  _ him _ like this before, looking at his body like it was a goddamn meal. The effect was better than morphine, and the aching that had been constant in his back was subsiding and shifting to dark corners, forgotten in Eddie’s mind.

“Anything off the table?” Richie breathed into Eddie’s flesh, dipping down to his chest and nibbling and working his mouth around Eddie’s torso, his teeth catching on one of Eddie’s nipples.

“N-no, not - just - do whatever you want.” Eddie tried keeping his voice steady, but he was fighting this overwhelming heat tightening at the base of his belly. 

“God that’s so dangerous,” Richie laughed, his hot breath ghosting over Eddie’s skin as he scooted further down on the couch, his legs stretching back to where it curved in an L and allowed him to fit. “The things I wanna do could destroy you, Kaspbrak.”

An involuntary whimper escaped Eddie’s throat, which in turn caused the corners of Richie’s lips to turn up. Not a second later, Richie dove his face down further and buried it into Eddie’s boxers, just at the crook of his inner thigh. Eddie made an unflattering noise at the feeling of his hard dick threatening to break the fabric of his underwear, rubbing roughly against where Richie’s neck was. He couldn’t help himself as his hips twitched up, letting his thigh squeeze inward and pull Richie’s face directly to where the tip of his dick was poking.

“You want me to suck it?” Richie asked, his voice unbearably sweet for a question so dirty.

Eddie nodded fervently, helping Richie shimmy his briefs down until Richie was able to flick them across the room. The look he was giving Eddie’s body was boring into his soul.

“You are so fucking sexy,” Richie breathed, a large hand trailing down Eddie’s chest, down the large cluster of sensitive scars as he shifted Eddie’s hips up. “I can’t fucking believe how gorgeous you are.”

“Th-thanks,” Eddie said stupidly. 

A small yip escaped him as Richie took in about half his cock, wetting it down before pulling it out and kissing the tip again.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be packing something quite like this, either, short-shorts.”

“Fuck you, asshole,” Eddie laughed lightly through a small moan, feeling Richie’s mouth turn up into an amused smile as he sucked down a second time. 

There’s no way this is going to last long, Eddie thought, his hips badly trying to thrust up into Richie’s throat, letting his own open up to elicit small moans and whimpers. Richie sure knew what he was doing, and Eddie was trying not to think about that, but he was also thinking about how this was  _ Richie fucking Tozier _ sucking on his dick, large hands on his thighs, running all over his body, and every time he did so his heart sommersaulted in his chest.  _ Richie. Richie. Richie. _

“Richie,” Eddie whined. “I’m gonna come, I - ” 

He stopped short, his head slamming back onto the couch as the orgasm cut through his sentence and felt himself spilling into Richie’s mouth. His mind went blank as the electrical rush ripped through him, just before he opened his mouth wanting to apologize for the short notice he gave Richie. Cold air brushed against his wet cock when Richie pulled off before his large hands pushed Eddie’s thighs up and his hot mouth pressed against Eddie’s hole.

“ _ Richie _ !” Eddie mewled, feeling Richie push his own cum through him with his tongue before pulling off. Eddie jolted again when Richie spit directly down into his ass, looking up at Eddie intensely as a finger slid over his wet rim.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Richie growled, slipping his first digit in and eliciting a gasp from Eddie. “Jesus, you’re so fucking tight, sweetheart. Have you done this to yourself before?”

“N-n-no,” Eddie gasped, squirming beneath Richie at the small pet name, which was so simple but oh so fucking good to hear. “I haven’t. Fuck, Richie, I want you so bad. I didn’t -  _ ah _ !” Eddie gasped again, feeling a second finger start working into him. “I want you to fuck me. I didn’t - I didn’t know I wanted it, but I do, I fucking want you inside me so bad.”

“Gimme a minute, kitten,” Richie cooed, twisting his fingers around Eddie’s rim. “It’s not gonna hurt if you let me stretch you out, ok?”

Eddie could only answer with a small whimper (because  _ kitten _ ), and knew if he had more control over his lower body, if he could move his legs and hips the way he wanted, he’d be pushing them down onto Richie’s fingers harder and faster. He just had to trust Richie would take care of him.

“I’m gonna move my fingers in deeper, ok?” Richie said softly, curling his two fingers up into a spot, good lord a fucking  _ bomb _ that was ready to go off inside of Eddie, pressing into it and sending an intense jolt though Eddie’s body and making his dick twitch again, still wet with cum and spit and gettin hard again like a fucking teenager.

It was so much but it was still taking so much longer than Eddie wanted, squirming around on the couch and letting Richie push his fingers around.

“Give me your hand.”

Eddie complied, letting go of the side of the couch and letting Richie suck on his two fingers like the way he was sucking on his dick before. 

“Help me out, baby,” Richie preened, guiding Eddie’s hand down and helping him push the fingers through his cum covered hole and press them inside himself.

“Jesus,” Eddie moaned, his brain short circuiting around the idea that his and Richie’s fingers were intertwined together  _ inside him _ , helping him stretch out in the warm space there. 

Richie helped him slide their fingers, twisting them around while he kissed and sucked down on Eddie’s nipples one at a time until Eddie reached up and pulled Richie’s hair back  _ hard _ , causing the other man to let out a moan.

“Richie,  _ please _ ,” Eddie cried, literal tears in his eyes now. “Please fuck me. I need this so badly.”

Richie’s mouth was on his, all tongue and spit, licking into his mouth as he pulled their fingers out to pin Eddie’s hand over his head. He started nipping roughly at Eddie’s lips, biting his chin, nibbling down his supple neck before pressing his teeth down into the soft flesh there. Eddie squeezed his thighs around Richie’s, feeling his skin bruising under Richie’s tongue, now licking the small bite marks that were surely left there.

The tip of Richie’s cock ghosted over Eddie’s hole, pressing lightly there until Richie looked back into Eddie’s eyes. One of his hands lowered down, and Eddie felt his knuckles moving around as Richie spread his precum over his dick.

“I love you, Eds.”

“I love you too, ‘Chee.”

Their fingers were nothing to prepare how full Eddie felt as Richie pushed his cock into him, his back arching under him at the feeling. Richie was moving fluidly, pushing in deeper with each thrust of his hips, which Eddie felt was simultaneously  _ so much _ but not enough all at once.

“God you’re so fucking tight, baby. You feel fucking amazing. Fuck kitten, you’re gonna make me come so quick.”

Unable to form a coherent thought, Eddie kept moaning and whining,  _ yelping _ , his throat opening up and getting louder as Richie was reaching places inside him he had no idea existed. His dick was leaking onto his stomach as it bounced, hard and red and already spent from his last orgasm, but the familiar rolling pleasure and pressure was building again, but coming in from unfamiliar places and far more intense than Eddie had ever felt in his life.

Richie’s hands were rough, pressing and holding onto his hips so tight they’d soon bruise as bad as Eddie’s neck, and Eddie welcomed the feeling of it. His body was flush, his sweaty hair bouncing on his forehead as Richie fucked him, more roughly than Eddie ever thought he’d ever allow or even enjoy, but it brought all the feeling back into his body that he hadn’t had in months - no,  _ years _ .

“ _ Richie _ .”

“You ok baby? You need me to slow down?”

“Nono, don’t stop, please, fuck, Richie I want you to come in me, fuck me harder please.”

Richie gripped Eddie’s waist, pulling him further down under him, holding his legs and pressing them up to get a deeper angle. 

“I’m gonna come, Eds - shit, I love you so fucking much - I’m gonna come,  _ fuck _ !”

If it wasn’t the way his chest swelled at the familiar nickname, or the mind-blowing, deep pleasure from Richie’s cock inside him, the look on Richie’s face as he stared down at him was what sent Eddie over the edge again, his muscles trembling as he came again, splattering over his stomach, keeping his eyes up at Richie this time, feeling all the electricity and  _ love _ there.

Eddie spent a great deal of his life hating feeling small, thinking it made him worthless, insignificant. Feeling Richie on him now, deep inside of him, his body laying over his and sheltering him from everything around them - this made him feel complete, safe, secure.

“That was… something.”

Richie’s body shook ever so slightly in quiet laughter, pushing himself up to look down at Eddie again. His hair was disarray, his glasses skewed and lopsided on his face. God, Eddie loved him so much.

“Something good, I hope.”

“It was great,” Eddie admitted softly. “I’ll even forgive you for breaking my ‘b word’ rule.”

“You  _ did _ say not to call you that in public. Unless you count your Eddie-bear plush, I’d say I kept in your guidelines.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No, I don’t,” Eddie sighed, pulling Richie’s face into his for a chaste, hot kiss. “You know, I think my legs work in your favor.”

“How so?”

“You literally fucked me so hard I won’t be able to walk right.”

Richie snorted, his cheeks flushing slightly. “Do you… need help getting up?”

“If that’s ok?” Eddie asked softly. “I wouldn’t mind taking a stroll in the park with my new hot wheels.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. If you don’t mind me burdening you with the chair.”

“You’re never a burden, Eddie my love.”

They dressed, and Eddie looked over at the wheelchair that Richie was rolling out and he could now see a large LOVER on the side of the wheel, the V marked in red over the letter S. His smile grew looking at it, knowing exactly who put that there as he looked up at him, face earnest and looking at Eddie with nothing but adoration, like he was the most beautiful thing in the world. 

For the first time, Eddie felt vulnerable in the most wonderful of ways, his heart open and thriving. Ironic that he spent his whole life feeling broken, and now that he was irreparably injured to the point he was at now, he finally felt whole. He sat down in his chair, rubbing the leather admiringly where Bill had written a small thanks for giving something in his life a good ending, for once. He looked up at Richie, pulling him down for another soft, chaste kiss, his heart so full it was sure to burst. And really, Eddie thought, after everything they had been through, being in the warmth of his lover in the home they would start building a life together in, that wouldn’t be such a bad way to go. 


End file.
